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關於感動

最近總是想些不切實際的事,最近總會流淚,最近生活全是苦楚。
  
  小七不在,小九不在。
  
  至於小八,或許從來都沒在。大梅子,和小八也許是一類。
  
  HDW和XSH,你們又到底是和小八一類,還是和小七一類?我不清楚。有時候覺得你們一定都在,有時候覺得我們之間的聯繫,像是碎成了一把黃沙。不管我怎麼揉捏也恢復不了我想要的樣子。
  
  GL。這個人給我過許多的希望。給過我許許多多的失望。都說有希望是好的。可是現在,我不相信那些子虛烏有的希望了。在“希望”這一話題上,最有見解的該是魯迅老先生了。他那段“希望是本無所謂有,無所謂無的”讓很多初三學子背得很鬱悶。不得不說,這的確是真理。
  
  學校的生活很空虛。每天三點一線的生活:上課,吃飯,睡覺。雖然忙得焦頭爛額,可是沒有充實感。大概只有在昨晚一整張難搞的物理試卷會覺得很“充實”。這樣的生活,很折磨我。
  
  偶爾也會有點小感動。
  
  比如我做了一個夢。
  
  夢裏只有小七和我。很多情節都不記得了,只記得,我仰著臉,問小七:你的腳還痛麼?小七伸出手拍拍我的頭說:沒事。雖然看不見小七的臉,可是可以感覺得到他在微笑。因為身邊全部是暖陽。之後是我拉著他的手,很開心的樣子。
  
  這夢境的感覺,比現實還現實。因為有了觸覺。
  
  比如我看到了城堡。大豐城有很多房地產,但我記得名字的不多。只記得,金豐苑。就連豐中校區旁的那一個都不記得。
  
  幾乎每個早上,我都會很早到班。有時候從食堂出來,有時候從宿舍出來。不管怎麼樣都可以看到那一排像是城堡一樣的房子。東方已經有了一些微微的光亮,那光從城堡的邊緣劃過,印入我的眼。就像是在童話裏一樣。有些片片碎碎的亮光從城堡裏照出來,像一塊塊琉璃玉片。唯美。
  
  比如有金黃的暖陽從身後照來。
  
  在此之前,我厭惡極了現在的座位。不管是做什麼,都在老師的監控之下。而且有刺眼的陽光。第二組第三桌,簡直是VIP座位。
  
  星期五的政治課上,我因為VIP座位的優勢帶來的美好感動到流淚。
  
  有一束陽光,透光教室的西南方的窗戶照在了我的身上,也照在了我亂七八糟的課桌上。眼睛沒有刺疼感。只覺得:美好。像是電影裏緩慢流動的水,像是一塊溫軟的玉。總之,那顏色美好到不行。
  
  當前面的男生回答問題的短暫時間裏,有小水流從眼睛裏流淌出來。老師的視線,全部在男生的身上而已。
  
  覺得自己像馮驥才了。那種奇怪的感覺是自己莫名地感動,莫名地流淚。或者說,我的文筆很快會迎來新一輪的蛻變。不再是從前的無病呻吟,就想迎春姐姐說的:
  
  “寫有血有肉的東西。”

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